Sorority Row

I think this is the topic that's brought up the most often when I talk to non-Greek friends, especially old close friends:

Why the FUCK did you join a sorority?

Middle school and high school colleagues of mine would testify that they NEVER in a million years expected me to come out of my little shell. A sorority? That's the most non-Beth thing you can do!

True, it was the most non-Beth thing I've done (well, barring one incident last year that I won't get into). Angela Lopez (yeah, I'm naming you), a high school acquaintance whom I rarely spoke to during all four years of school together, had shoved a flyer in my hand and told me to come by just to check them out and there will be yummy homemade cupcakes. She caught my attention with the cupcakes. Plus she said I'd be doing her a huge favor. So off I went - to get my cupcake. I sort of shuffled my way through the interview, down the line for food, said hi to people whose names I forgot as soon as I turned around. Some days later I was given a bid, and I figured, meh sure. Why not? At this point, I had no idea what a sorority was (or a bid, for that matter). I struggled through the process, did what was asked of me, raged every day about how this was the most stupid fucking thing I've ever done, and cried a LOT.

I made it through and now have a nice little profile up on the sisters page of the website (like how I threw that in there?). In retrospect, it wasn't THAT bad. Time-consuming, sure, and a helluva lot harder to join than, say, the premedical society where all you have to do is shove money at the officers. But when I look at what I've gained out of a mere eight weeks...I feel that it was worth it, especially for the experience and the feeling of accomplishment. I bonded with five-and-a-half (Melissa, you are half) total strangers brought together from all corners of the campus to undergo eight weeks of processing. And I'm amazed by what each of my pin sisters had to teach me and by the stories each of them told.

After crossing, I've gotten to know so many of the girls I wasn't too fond of last semester, and I absolutely love them! For a group of 20 girls, I think we actually get along pretty well personally and professionally (at least from what I can tell).

As a junior member of the sorority, I guess I kinda miss the close bonds I felt with each pin sister. We've grown apart. We do a lot more work and frankly I no longer feel a sense of accomplishment after we do our assigned tasks. If I thought last semester was time-consuming, it's no comparison to being an active. With MCATs and family messes, the sorority is on the bottom of my priority list, and I kind of feel upset at myself for not being able to put in the same amount of effort into the sorority as others are. People are dedicating and sacrificing so much for the sorority that I feel like saying, "Hold up. Is it right to be doing that? Because honestly, I don't feel comfortable putting the sorority before my parents, my job, or my school." If people are doing that, isn't that what they expect from me? Should I just quit now?

I might just be thinking too much into it. But joining a sorority has had its pros and cons. I think it'll get better once I finish (and ace) my MCATs when I'll finally have the time to socialize. I really want to apologize to my non-Greek friends who think they haven't seen much of me lately because of the sorority. Yes, it's true that when I'm actually out socializing, I'm with the Sigmas. But I'm only allowed out every so often and for a certain period of time - I want to use these opportunities of freedom to get Sigma requirements out of the way. It'll change once I've taken my MCAT (:

As far as changing my personality to become a Sigma - that allegation is bogus. I have changed for the better in a social aspect, though I'm still improving. But you'll see that I'm still very much myself. I still hate parties and loud music so you'll rarely see me at a club (unless it was required). My IQ hasn't dropped any points. My GPA is still high. I still make goofy comments. And I still like to consider myself a good friend.

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