Δ - symbol of change
I miss the way life was before last semester. I look back at the pictures of my family and I at Disneyworld for my birthday, and I always miss how happy, how carefree, how wonderful we were. I took life before last September for granted.
I curse myself everyday for the poor decisions I made. I can't look at my parents without feeling a pang of guilt for hurting them the way I have. I thought staying busy and being more involved at school would help me take my mind off things, would help preoccupy me. It doesn't. It makes me miss my family even more. I thought I would enjoy this semester being an active. I don't. I see my parents struggling with the idea of me being out late or out doing who-knows-what. I cry every time I leave the house now because of how my mom begs me to stay home and how I have to leave no matter how much I, too, want to stay behind with her. And the work I'm doing, frankly, doesn't make me happy.
I think it's a bit strong of me to say I regret the changes I made last semester. But, I just wish it was different.
Current music: Vienna Teng - Lullaby for a Stormy Night